Remembering*

Do you remember when you threw me outside in a tee shirt and panties, down the front steps, in the cold of winter and locked me out of the house? Because I threw and broke a candle.

Do you remember when you refused to take me home when I was 14 or 15? When you drove me around and took turns getting in the back seat with me, trying to force yourselves on me? Only when I cried and begged in fear, did you take me home.

Do you remember when I was walking to work and you pulled up behind me in a car, tires squealing, shoved me to the ground, and snatched my purse? You only got $8 and my family photos, but you violated me for eternity.

Do you remember  when I was in sixth grade and was waiting on my dad, brother, and sister to come out of the South Park library and you played with yourself in front of me in broad daylight and you asked me if it was "small, medium, or large"? Only to run away when I ran inside to get my dad.

Do you remember when you took part in the murder of an innocent man and called me to confess? Six months later I was being interviewed by CMPD homicide at 4 am, more scared than any one could ever know.  So were my poor parents. I was 19.

Do you remember when I was 16 years old and confronted you for cheating on me and you took me into a friends powder room and shoved me so hard into the opposite wall that my collar bone snapped in two? Yet, I covered for you and said I fell on the ice.

Do you remember when you put drugs into my drink to [presumably] take advantage of my friend and myself? Maybe you even succeeded but I got drug tested and spent 4 months doing the 12 steps in AA and NA.

Do you remember when I was 16 and you were 30 and you were my married boss, but you had sex with me anyway? That is rape. You should have known better.

Do you remember when you gave me a laced joint to smoke, knowing I was afraid of/against the hard stuff? 10 years later you told me I told you that was the best high I had ever had.

Do you remember when we broke up and I took our dog because you were a  crack addict? Then you called me at work the next day threatening to blow it up if I did not tell you where he was.

Do you remember when I worked at the car wash and as I lowered the customers antenna, he touched my breasts? You all let him get away without confrontation or a call to the police.

Do you remember an attempted gang rape? Thankfully, I do not know if I blocked it or it was untrue, but was thwarted by an honorable male friend.

Do either of you remember the countless times you hurt my feelings over your drug use and infidelity and in retaliation slammed me to the ground with your hands grasped around my neck? I could not breathe. That is abuse.